Journey East With Me

The other night I heard a women (I will not mention her name since her story is not my story to tell) give her testimony at a MOPs event. She spoke about the struggle she has endured with comparing herself to other mothers (is there anyone out there who has not done this? Seriously, if they haven't they need to be giving seminars to the rest of us or something. I hate that this person thought they were all alone in this.) During her testimony, when she mentioned comparing not only did she make purposeful eye contact with me but she mentioned a few of my traits and said my name.

As Uncle Allen would say, "Uh wait a minute, hold the phone." Clearly I have misrepresented myself if I am perceived as one to be compared to. My ego was shot as I realized I might not be as humble as I so proudly thought I was (how do you like that for irony?).

The complete picture became clearer as I remembered a conversation Mandy and I had a month or two ago. As a very private person I vulnerably opened up and confessed to her that I sort of have some perfection issues. To my surprise, she was not surprised. Mandy replied ever so sarcastically, "ya think?" Apparently I had not hidden my secret as well as I thought.

Ouch.

All that to say, to progress with God, to progress with my friends, and to be an honest person, I must open up. Now this is tricky because I am sealed pretty tight! And I don't hold back for the purpose of misleading others to think I am better than I am. I just don't won't to bother them. Somewhere in my past I designated myself "cheerleader." And as an encourager, why would I moan, groan, and whine about anything personal? That's not uplifting and encouraging to others (or is it?)! I'd rather be a listening ear for you and keep my own mouth shut.

You may be wondering how this fits into my title of journeying east. Well, I am going to an acupuncturist to help me get pregnant. And, I plan to record my journey through eastern medicine right here on the blog. Never before I have been so open about a short coming of myself (meaning the fact that I have not gotten pregnant on demand as I did with Savannah). But, I know a few people who have toyed with the idea of acupuncture so maybe this will help someone else. Whether the acupuncture works or not, I know this journey will help me. And I know my Mom will be happy I am no longer just blogging about the weather "outside my window..." ;) (Simple Woman's Daybook people, defend me here!)

So, I come before you humbly with my story... but if I get any pity comments so help me I will shut this rig down! :)