Friday, September 10, 2010

It takes a village

I'm starting to realize that it really does take a village to raise children. Not so much because of what other's can contribute to my children's lives - although wonderful people have had positive influences on them - but more because in a village you can always find someone sane and of sound mind. And today, it was not my turn to play the part of the sane mom.

Archer woke up at 5:21 am this morning ready to nurse. It was not his usual 5:30 or 5:45 but that's okay. I was willing to roll with it. Mark brought him to me in bed to nurse (isn't he an awesome husband?) but Archer had other plans. And fyi, if your child is going to have trouble nursing, you do not want it to happen at 5:21am.

Arch and I give up the battle and headed down the hallway to the kitchen where we discovered there was not enough coffee to brew a pot. Great. And it's not like I can just pop in anywhere and grap a cup of jo. I buy organic decaf and it has to be decaffeinated with the swiss water method so that no chemicals are used. Not something you can find at Mc Donalds. And no one wants to see me on caffeine. The harmony of our marriage depends on me staying off caffeine.

We get Savannah off to school and Arch begins his school work (sitting in the exersaucer so I can take a shower). He starts to fuss before I can wash all the suds off. He is out right crying by the time I am drying off.

In frustration I decided to explain things to Archer while standing in my bathroom wrapped in a towel. "Listen little guy," I told him, "If I picked you up every time you fussed I would never get to put my clothes on, brush my teeth, cook dinner, or do anything else. So if it were up to you I would be naked, starving, with smelly breath. And I don't want to be naked and starving with smelly breath. So you are going to have to fuss today." This conversation was one of many indicators that I would not be playing the part of "sane mom" today.

This made him scream louder.

I put on my clothes and then picked him in hopes of redirecting his short attention span. All the while I was wondering how my hair was going to look now that it has dried unbrushed and wrapped in a towel.

Finally I was able to lay him down for a nap and then put on make-up and salvage my hair. As I stood in my closet I decided I could not put on shorts, a stained t-shirt and worn out flip flops one more time. Just for today, I want to look pretty. After I scoured my closet for something decent I began to pick out accessories. And in the holes of my pierced ears I placed beautiful large copper earrings that I knew Archer will try to yank from my ears leaving me in need of reconstructive surgery. But I did not care. They matched my outfit perfectly.

We left the house for a playdate with friends fussy baby in tow. And as you probably guessed, the playdate was for me as Archer is too young to play with other kids. But I needed friends.

When we arrived our village was there to greet us with a fresh pot of coffee and homemade banana bread. I threw caution to the wind and being the wild child that I am ;) I had a cup of that non-organic caffeinated coffee. I listened to encouraging stories from other moms who had challenging babies. I looked them over and they all seemed to come out the other side of this baby phase looking like normal humans adorned with cute earrings and such. And like me other moms walked in the door sharing their stories of chaos from the morning. And the stories of frustrationwe rehashed suddenly sounded funny. Maybe even hilarious, laugh-out-loud-from-down-in-your-belly-funny.

My village made me laugh and feel sane again. I could have soaked up more time and fellowship but Archer began to fuss for a nap and so we left. Now, I can't stand to leave a party early. After all, I might miss out on something. But I had giggled, talked, listened, and sipped coffee with good friends. Some of us sane and some of us with hopes of being sane next time but all in the village. What more could a morning hold?

2 comments:

Katy said...

Why is it so refreshing to know we are not alone, and others go through the same crazy stuff we do??
You notice I did not even make it to the "village group" today!
Both kids woke up congested/coughing/ and just plain mad! :)
Maybe next time! Until then...your post helps!

Mandy said...

So glad you're feeling better after your playdate and OH MY I've been with you on caffeine & I'll pray that your Mom & Mark don't kill you tonight when you're wide awake. Love you! Thanks for calling. You're the only one so far that has understood my make-up sadness. ;o) I was disappointed indeed to miss the opportunity to chat with you & others. Soon though. Have a great weekend!