I am a Toddler

Wednesdays are usually Archer's favorite day. Why? Because he get's to rock out like nobody's business at Kindermusik class with one of his favorite people, Mrs. Donnis (and me! I'm there too of course!) There's singing, dancing, instruments, friends, loudness, and sillyness. What toddler would not love such a weekly opportunity.

But this paticular Wednesday morning. Archer was happy playing in his room at his train table. I called him over to me so that I could put his shoes on.

"No." he firmly replied. (Poor child, he still thinks that's an appropriate answer to my commands. He will learn!)

Still being patient I called him over again and assured him he needed to get his shoes on so that we could go to his favorite thing, kindermusik.

"No," this time with dramatic head shaking.

Five minutes later of this charade I was holding him down while he cried as I crammed his shoes on. He kept yelling "train, train, train, no shoes, no shoes, no shoes."

Without any sympathy I wrestled him into the carseat threatening his life if he did not cooperate and off we went to Mrs. Donnis' Kindermusik class. At this point we were both in less than a party-like mood. But I knew once we got there he would have the time of his life even if it took him a while to get over his fit.

We pulled into the parking lot and his face lit up, "kinmusik, kinmusik, instamints (instruments), fun, fun!"

Frustrated and in my best I-told-you-so voice I said, "Archer, I have been telling you all morning that we were going to Kindermusik. That's why I wanted you to put your shoes on, so we could go."

And he did have fun. That boy seriously does rock out in class. And then the rest of the day he repeats, "Donnis, fun. Donnis, fun."

I put him down for a nap and opened my bible study and noticed this week was labeled, "control." Great. Let's learn about relequishing our plan and submitting to God's. Yikes.

Suddenly this morning's events played back like a movie except I was the 2 year old. I literally saw myself throwing a fit over God's plan. How many times have I been so distracted by the mild nuseance of putting on by shoes that I failed to see the purpose was so I could go somewhere great. Well, that number is not for public knowledge. Sufice to say, way too many.

And how many times have I been so content playing with the same old toys (good toys no less) at home that when God tries to move me to something new (and far beter) I hesitate because it was not my idea or I am fearful? If I could look up from my own personal desires (ultimate sign of a toddler) then I would see God was leading me into something far better, even if it does enatil a mundane car ride and getting out of my pajamas or even a little discomfort.

Fear, control, self-centeredness all describe my toddler and myself.

The remedy? Faith and submission.

Exodus 4:10
But Moses pleaded with the Lord, 'O Lord, I'm not very good with words. I never have bee, and I'm not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied and my words get tangled.' Then the Lord asked Moses, 'Who makes a person's mouth? Who decided whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see?' Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with youas you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.' But again Moses pleaded, 'Lord, please! Send someone else.'